The Wedding Rant

Reasons I really don’t like going to frum weddings:

-The groom gives the bride a ring and says “behold, you are now betrothed to me”. The bride does nothing. She has no (public) say.

-Weddings are essentially a sale of women. This is most evident at Sephardic weddings, when the parents walk the the bride halfway down the isle, and then the groom comes to “claim his property” and accompany the bride for the other half.

-High heels are especially painful, both to wear and to be stepped on by.

-Frum women do NOT know how to circle dance, yet they pretend to by walking fastly in circles for a few minutes, untill becoming more interested in the man burning a ring of fire on their black hats.

-The kallah is brought to the men so that they can be mekayim the mitzvah of simchas kallah.

-Girls are expected to “out-fancy” each other, even if the resulting outfit looks hideous.

-Separate seating is just awkward.

-There’s something about the immense number of perakim of tehillim being said by 17 and 18 year old girls that makes me want to cringe.

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