When it comes to sexual orientation, I’m pretty accepting. Homosexual, bi-sexual, into only weird fantasy roleplay…sure, that’s all fine by me. However, there is one term that has come into vogue recently which I just completely don’t get.
Urbandictionary defines asexual as “a person who is not interest in or does not desire sexual activity”. The Wikipedia entry for “Asexuality” similarly describes the term as “the lack of sexual attraction and, in some cases, the lack of interest in and desire for sex”, and goes into detail about the emergence of asexualism.
This, I just don’t understand. I fully get that some people are not interested in sex, do not become sexually aroused, and simply do not consider themselves “sexual” people. Great.
But does that warrant a unique term? I am uninterested in sports, have no desire to play sports, and do not get any enjoyment or pleasure from athletic activity. Does that make me “a-athletic”? What about not liking to garden? “a-agricultural”? Can we really assign a term to the simple idea of not enjoying something? Do we really have to?
Perhaps the emergence of the term asexual is a direct result of our society’s huge emphasis on sexuality. No one would think it strange that I don’t enjoy sports (especially because I’m a woman, but that’s another discussion), but to not enojoy sex? There has to be something “wrong” or “different” about that. In fact, if I called myself a-athletic, people would wonder why in the world I am defining myself by my interest, or lack thereof, in sports.
Our liberal culture thinks that we are being so open and accepting by giving every approach to sexuality a new name, but really, in the case of asexuality, we are just playing into the expectations of society. We are saying that the people who don’t desire sex are different or odd in some way, that they belong in a category. We may feel that because we welcome them to our LGBTQIA clubs, we are helping them, but we are not. We are simply pushing our own understanding and approach to sexuality on to them. Not only that, but we are detracting from their personhood. Asexuals are interested in plenty of other things aside from sex. They are musicians, artists, athletes, scientists, politicians and writers. By pigeon-holing them into describing themselves simply by their lack of interest in sex, we are detracting from their true person. The pianist, the person that discovers the next scientific breakthrough, the award-winning novelist…these are the accomplishments that people want to be known for. Who really cares what they are or are not doing in their bedroom?