Menstruation is dirty. Period. Blood spitting out of your vagina is dirty. For that matter, so is blood coming out of your nose when it bleeds, blood from your veins when you give blood, and that gross blood and dirt combination that happens when you skin your knees.
“(19) And if a woman shall have an issue of menstrual blood, she shall be niddah for seven days, and whoever touches her shall be niddah until the evening. (20) And everything that she lies upon in her niddah shall be impure, and all that she sits upon shall be impure. (21) And whoever touches her bed shall was his clothes and bathe himself in water, and be impure until the evening. (22) And whoever touches anything that she sits upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the evening. (23) And if he is on her bed or any place that she sits, when he touches it he shall be impure until the evening. (24) And if a man lies with her and her niddah is upon him, he shall be unclean for seven days, and every bed that he lies upon shall be impure.-Leviticus 15:19-24
I don’t feel like a “dirty person” when I am menstruating, but I sure don’t feel clean. I’ve got blood coming all out of me, I have to constantly make sure I’ve got enough diaper-like contraptions with me to make sure my clothing stays clean, I feel groggy and tired…Of course I don’t want to be intimate right now. But do I feel that that the halachik sources stigmatize women as a gender for the act of menstruation? No. They’re just using the true fact that blood is dirty.
I wasn’t feeling to well today. We went out for soup, because that was all I felt I could handle. It was great. When we got back to my apartment, I wanted to cuddle up with him on the couch, but I couldn’t, so we sat next to each other. It was a little frustrating, but the same sexual tension was there. I also had the thought that it’s probably good to be niddah while sick, because I don’t particularly want to be doing anything too active anyways, and this will help prevent him getting sick also.
Today was simply amazing.
First we went out bowling. That wasn’t so amazing. I don’t know how many of you have ever gone bowling in Manhattan, but if you haven’t, don’t. It’s just like bowling anywhere else, except instead of beer and pizza there is locally brewed over-priced beer and italian cuisine. And it costs 10 times as much. I am not exaggerating. For 2 people to rent shoes and play 2 games we spent $64. We definitely did not get any drinks. I complained about it being overpriced the whole time, but he kept saying he wanted to do nice things for me.
Afterwards, we wound up at Toys R Us and bought nerf guns. We went back to my apartment and had an all out nerf war. It was awesome and I definitely won. By the end of the night, we both wound up lying “dead” on the floor. We talked about our future and what we wanted out of life. I have never wanted to hug anyone more than I did at that moment. We cheated a little by stroking each other with the nerf guns. I think the cheating was okay, because it’s still a pretty strict boundary and there was still that tension and wanting and yearning present.
It kind of sucks because if we were married we’d jump each other. but he’s gone.
Every night this week that I did see him I had to refrain from touching but now that I can touch he’s not there.
I questioned whether dating really warrants this niddah, but I think it does. I know many couples that are dating but spend every waking moment (and sometimes non-waking moments) together. The tension is necessary to retain that sexual chemistry couples start out with, and to counteract complacency.
I was with him and his parents for shabbat, so even though we touched a little, we didn’t really do too much. I spent all of shabat thinking about how much I wanted to be alone with him. Finally, FINALLY he took me home Sunday and we spent the entire day together in bed and it was more than perfect.